When my best friend called me in a panic about diaper prices last year, I giggled, “I mean, how bad could it be?”
Cut to me standing in the middle of the supermarket aisle, staring at the NipNap and Pampers price tags that made me clutch my chest like a drama queen in a telenovela.
And don’t get me started on baby formula – I’m still traumatized about that one. How are we not marching in the streets demanding accountability? These companies are profiting off of the fact that moms sometimes can’t produce enough milk, leaving them no choice but to buy overpriced formula to nourish their babies. It’s a racket, and it’s downright unfair.
But yeah, this is the new normal in my hometown friend group. I’m the only one without a kid, and while not much has changed, the small shifts are impossible to ignore.
Our shopping dates used to be all about snagging a cute dress or treating ourselves to an expensive snack. Now, we spot baby stuff even before hitting checkout. Even our walks are sprinkled with chatter about nannies, daycare, and baby sleep patterns.
And I’m not complaining. I love experiencing this new phase of life with my friends, even though it’s from the outside looking in. I respect and love them enough to know their priorities have shifted, and I’m here for all of it.
But sadly, that’s not always the case with most friend groups. I recently came across a Reddit post from a mom who, once the life of the party, was ousted from her friend group because they didn’t get her new reality.
And on TikTok, a woman shared how the pressure of all her friends having kids made her feel like she had to follow suit. She admitted she had started considering getting pregnant just to fit in, even though she didn’t feel emotionally prepared.
There are stories like these all over the internet, each one more heartbreaking than the last, which is why I felt the need to write this article and open up the conversation about the shifts in friendships and how to go about it (because making friends as an adult is already hard enough, you don’t want to lose the ones who have always had your back just because their reality has changed.
So below, find seven ways friendships change when you’re the only one without a kid (we’ll dive into what happens when you’re the only one with a kid in the next article).
Related: The Great Shedding: How To Cope With Outgrowing “OG” Friendships In The Late Twenties
How Friendships Change You Don’t Have Kids And Your Friends Do
Ready? It’s time to take notes:
You Get To Relearn How To Become Their Friend In Their New Role

Whenever I hang out with my child-free friends, conversations center around relationships, money, and everything that’s been happening in our lives lately.
For my mom friends, though, almost everything centers around motherhood – diaper prices, the best pediatricians to see when you’re dealing with this or that, the best places to get deals on baby shoes or gear, new weird habits or milestones their kids have achieved that week – basically everything is about parenthood.
When you don’t have kids, it’s hard to relate. You literally have nothing to contribute or similar stories to share. So, you have to relearn how to be friends with them in their role as mothers. You have to relearn their habits, what matters to them, and what’s been happening in their lives.
This way, you can keep your friendship strong while preparing for the next hangout, knowing you’ll have valuable contributions to the conversation.
You Feel Left Out In Conversations
Unless you raised siblings, work with kids, or spent years around them, you’re bound to feel left out.
Especially when you’re the only child-free babe in a group of moms, you’ll be learning new things at lightning speed to the point of feeling overwhelmed. I’m still trying to figure out how I know about the white vs. black mom SUV trend or cord blood banking.
And you can’t exactly ask them to slow down and explain everything. So, you just sit there, feeling like a lump of a log with nothing to add to the conversation. That’s just the way it is.
But if you’re like me, you’ll take this opportunity to take mental notes and then Google them later. Or text your mom bestie to have her explain what those terms meant and how she’s been coping with some of the things you heard them talking about.
This way, you’ll have points to contribute when these terms come up again, and by the time you’re ready to have kids (or your younger sibling does), you’ll be a walking encyclopedia of mom tips and hacks.
Related: Stop Asking: 11 Things You Should Never Say to a Woman Who’s Child-Free by Choice
Texts, Phone Calls, & Video Chats Become Fewer and Far Between
Once upon a time, you and your friend talked every day, sharing updates about work drama, your latest Netflix obsession, or the antics of mutual acquaintances.
But now, with kids in the mix, those daily chats become so sporadic that you might struggle to remember the last time you caught up.
But it’s not personal. It’s just the reality of juggling a hundred things at once: side hustles, motherhood, quality time with a partner, and the bare scraps of personal time they can salvage. So, constant communication understandably takes a backseat.
What I’ve found works in these situations is scheduling calls in advance or occasionally catching them during work hours when they’re baby-free. Sometimes, we’ll talk for hours; other times, it’s just a quick “How are you?” before life pulls them away.
It’s a rhythm we’ve learned to navigate, and because my friendships aren’t one-sided, they’ll also reach out when they get a moment to breathe.
The key here is to extend grace to them and yourself. Don’t take the silence personally, and don’t judge them too harshly for going radio silent. Motherhood (and let’s face it, adulthood in general) is a full-time job—and then some.
Related: How Your Attachment Style Impacts Your Friendship Patterns
Hangouts Start Happening Earlier
Gone are the days of leisurely 8 pm dinners or drinks until midnight. When your friends become moms, everything shifts to an earlier clock.
Dinner now needs to happen at 5 pm because their kids have to be tucked in by 8 pm, and they want to be there for those bedtime routines.
Even if there’s a nanny or a partner stepping in for the night, they still have to be up early to change diapers, prep for work, tackle errands, or soothe a baby who thinks 3 am is the perfect time for a singalong. So, everything past 8 pm is a hard no.
That’s why adjusting your schedule becomes essential if you want to keep the friendship thriving. Meet her for a 5 pm dinner or an early coffee date. And if you’re still in the mood to keep the night alive, it might be time to embrace solo plans—or find some child-free friends who can hang out late.
It’s a learning curve, no doubt, but keeping the friendship intact means finding rhythms that work for you all.
Restaurants Must Be Kid-Friendly (And So Must Your Conversations)

Over the holidays, my other friend group (because yes, I have two; one full of moms, which inspired this article, and another where my best friend is the only mom) planned a much-needed catch-up session. With all of us scattered miles apart, adulthood made this reunion a rarity.
But with my bestie’s nanny away for Christmas, we had to sacrifice our usual hangout spot for a kid-friendly, open-air restaurant where her little one could run around and play. After some searching (and collective sighs of relief), we found the perfect spot.
Sacrificing our regular spot was a no-brainer. What we didn’t see coming were the fragmented conversations.
The plan was to catch each other up on our lives, but that agenda quickly derailed. Our usual endless chats were peppered with interruptions: spilled drinks, a curious adventure gone wrong, cries of mama from across the playground, and snack breaks on repeat.
My bestie’s attention was split – maybe 5% on us and the rest on keeping her child entertained and out of trouble.
And this is the reality even when you’re the only friend without a child. It’s a crash course in flexibility, patience, and constant adjustment. But if staying connected is important to you, you need to learn and relearn ways to make it work.
You Can’t Be A Flake Anymore
If your mom friends agree to an adult-only girls’ night out, flaking is not an option.
Here’s why: they’ve either shelled out money for a babysitter who’s getting paid whether the night happens or not or cashed in some serious partner points.
Their partners probably agreed to stay home with the kids after your friends sweetened the deal with a grueling favor, or their partners canceled their own plans to make your mom friends’ happen, and now it’s too late for them to backtrack or rejoin them.
The point is that a lot of logistical gymnastics go into carving out that rare adult-only evening, so you have to be the most reliable person by showing up and sticking to the plan.
But You Have To Be Okay With Them Flaking Often
@imtatyannasamm Because baby I barely wanted to leave the house anyway!???????????? #canceled #plans #outside #party #friends #girlsnightout #imtatyannasamm #thankyou #happy #excited #planscancelled #club #besties #goals #relieved #thankful #grateful #facts #trending #friendships #groupchat #homebody #truestory #barbie #excited ♬ sonido original – francomoreeira
While you need to be rock-solid dependable for your mom friends, you also have to accept that they can’t always return the favor. If their child gets sick, the nanny cancels last minute, or there’s an unexpected school emergency, your mom friends might have to cancel plans, and you can’t hold it against them.
It’s not a reflection of how much they value your friendship; it’s just the reality of their new life. So, when making plans, avoid centering everything on their attendance because there’s a 50% chance they won’t be able to make it.
And they already feel guilty enough for having to bail, so piling on complaints or resentment isn’t fair to them or you.