Popular Writer Shares That A Friend Warned Her To Be Careful Who She Marries To Avoid Kids With “Carpet Texture” Hair


Have you ever had a friend that told you something that made you look at her a little sideways? Erickka Sy Savané is a wife, mom and writer who often writes for popular publications like Madame Noire or Essence.

Recently she shared a gorgeous photo of the texture of her children’s hair on Instagram and in the caption, she shared that she had a friend that warned her to be careful who she married because she may end up with kids who have “carpet textured” hair.

Read for yourself below:

As I read the caption I couldn’t help but think back to the days when such a description was normal and family and friends would issue warnings to young women who were seen dating a man with the same texture hair as their own.

“Black pride” does not resignation with everyone and it gets proven even as recent as that post. Since Erikka’s post I have been looking at the comments posted on other Instagram accounts that have reposted the picture.

For example this comment:
I remember when my hair looked like this… all this natty hair need is conditioner oil and some and butter or milk moisturize to seal it.

and this comment:
I can see it being called carpet texture. I don’t see how that’s an insult when there are carpets the same texture. It’s like ultra thick hair being compared to horse hair, thick to a mane, or ultra thin to Afghan hound hair. You can only be insulted if you decide to be. Likely the friend’s comment stems from their personal fears.

I know that I don’t want to deal with hair curlier than mine. I already have two curly children, and the strain of doing 3 heads of hair daily is exhausting. My daughter has thicker hair than me, and I’ve nearly come to tears when that mane tries to eat me alive! We all have hair to our bottoms. My brother’s 5 kids have straighter hair that require virtually no work at all! What I would not give to throw my kids in a pool and not have to wrangle angry curls after!

One thing’s for sure, there is certainly a ton of energy wrapped up in our hair and the thicker and curlier the texture the more energy it carries.

What we are fighting for is ensuring that the energy is positive, filled with pride and love. Changing the stigma of black hair is why posts like this are important and why they exist.

The more we expose the positive and deal with the negative the closer we get to changing deep-rooted negative stereotypes. I am with Erickka Sy Savané for sharing your post, I wouldn’t have it any other way either.

Comment below and let me know if you are proud of your hair texture!


  1. My best friends mom met my husband and his family at our wedding bc they live several states away. She whispered to me that my children would def have “good” hair bc my husbands hair is curly and mine is thick. I was sorta surprised bit not really. My sister-in-law told me the other day that she realized that she and her husband celebrated with their kid after her hair is styled but rarely before. She now has decided to stop apologizing for her natural hair, accept compliments as if positively intended and celebrate my nieces hair in its natural state just as oftentimes she does after its styled.


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