SZA did a pretty candid interview with Flaunt that has the whole world wondering if the songstress really intends to enter early retirement.
The truth is, SZA was just joking, as shown by this excerpt:
After listing peers like Frank Ocean, label-mate Lamar, and more who came strong on round two, she assures me that she too will rise above. “I’m still miserable,” she says. “My world got so much smaller so fast. I have so much to write about. I feel like I’m in a cage. I’m making the best album of my life for this next album and I know that… because it’s going to be my last album.”
Let’s not take that “last” part too seriously. She delivered it with a grin and has been known to flirt with the idea of early retirement. Even before Ctrl dropped, the stress of expectation got to her so much that she tweeted “I actually quit.” Now she thinks, “God didn’t give me the Grammys, because he knows I would have quit, like ‘I have nothing else to do.’”
I really loved her openness on how she deals with insecurity, depression, and anger which SZA seems to manage daily!
To be woefully insecure is an expression of selfishness, because you think everything is about you,” she says. “You’re now interpreting everybody’s movements and thoughts in the room as a worst-case scenario based on you, which is low-key crazy and highly egoic. It’s really based on self-esteem and the fact that you don’t think you’re good enough. It’s just twisted. I started to feel worse about myself for behaving that way.” I quip about how depression presents double and triple negatives like that: first, you’re down on yourself, then you’re down on yourself for what it means to be so down on yourself. We laugh the pitifulness of it all.
“I just decided to focus on other shit,” she says, “and I started working on my inner self—how I feel, and regulating my energy. And then the world around me got better.” She’s been meditating regularly since October. A hardheaded one, she had to exhaust all the other options before giving in to friends’ suggestions and trying it. “When you’re at your real wit’s end,” SZA starts, “you’ve got to acknowledge God and have a transcendence. And God really held me down.”
Next up is entering anger management, where her goal when she hopefully starts soon isn’t grand. She simply wants to turn all-out fits into smaller ones. “Failing softly,” she calls it while shrugging her shoulders. “Instead of throwing a full tantrum, you have, like, a quarter tantrum.” Recognizing her ability to go from beaming with joy to enviable cool to becoming a sad sack of pensive potatoes, I think of another character she’s shouted out in song: Disney cartoon tween Pepper Ann.
“Pepper Ann is me,” she yelps. “She’s so calamity-filled. But very cool.” I ask if she’s “her own biggest fan” like a line from its theme song goes. “No!” she responds, and then she corrects me. “Do you think she means that?” She’s quick to point out that the lyrics of the opener are a superb example of self-deprecation. When Pepper Ann sings of loving everything about herself, she’s really saying she doesn’t. “People who aren’t confident in themselves are always satirizing themselves,” she says. “The funniest people are either the most depressed or insecure.” It’s worth noting that SZA’s had her crew in stitches all night. She goes down a morbid list of comedy’s well-known sad men who have either suffered from or succumbed to their despair. “Robin Williams, Jim Carrey…”
SZA will not be finished anytime soon! She is just getting started! – Read her entire interview here.