Rap icon Trina is finding her footing again.
During an appearance on the Tamron Hall Show to discuss her new book Da Baddest, the 45-year-old opened up about being in a dark space after her miscarriage and the loss of her mom and brother.
“Whether you listen to Hip-Hop or not, the reality is this is about womanhood,” explained Hall of the narrative.
“You really dig into, Trina, a painful part for you.” she continued, talking about a segment from the book where the Always rapper describes losing her unborn child while dating fellow rapper Lil Wayne.
“The miscarriage, that was something I didn’t really never speak about, even to my friends. Maybe two people knew. But, at that time, I don’t even really understand what was going on. It was just a dark space… I was working so much.,” Trina explained.
Back in the day, according to Trina, female rappers faced a lot of stigma about getting pregnant, and many had to put in double the work to receive the same recognition as their male counterparts.
“I would cry on the road, I would cry on the tour bus, I would cry in a hotel, but I would have to hit the stage that night. I would have to get on a plane that morning, I would have to do whatever I was doing,” she continued. “So it was something that you kind of like swept under the rug.”
“I was so young, and I was just, I was hurt. I was sad inside. I just [started] questioning things that I believe in and why me. You know, I didn’t understand. Like, was it something that I did wrong? Like, why? I blame myself so much for it. “
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Miscarriage was a prelude to a series of heartbreaking losses for Trina. In 2013, her 19-year-old brother, Wilbrent Bain Jr, was tragically shot and killed. His death sent her into a really dark place.
“The loss of my brother is when life went dark for me,” she revealed through tears. “To the world, they see it as, ‘you know, happy smiling, just keep pushing,’ but for me, since 2013 until now. Since 2013, when I lost my brother. I just felt so disconnected from the world. I felt like I wanted my life not to be here.”
Then, in 2019, Trina was hit with another blow. Her mum died.
“Not to even think that in 2019, I would lose my mom,” she continued. “I don’t know how to explain that to nobody. I really stopped believing in everything I believed in, in life.”
“I’m not that strong, I just started breaking down, losing myself. I don’t understand. How do you live without your mom… I felt if my back was against the wall; my mom was always there. She’s never, not been there for me. When she wasn’t here, I just felt alone in the world… Sometimes I find myself calling her phone, just dialing the number, and I just gotta hang up.”
But while the loss has been overwhelming, Trina has also experienced some glimmers of joy. The 5-Star Chick rapper recently said I do to her man Benjamin Kearse Jr. in Miramar, FL. And now, she just released a best seller that her fellow rappers have described as brilliant.
“Trina always understands the assignment. She knows how to adapt to evolving sounds, generations, and trends without losing the core of who she is as an artist,” writes Missy Elliott, according to People.
