Yeah, yeah, dating apps are the worst – we know! But for any LGBTQIA+ identifying persons (lesbian, queer, non-binary, bisexual, pansexual), online dating can be the best, if not the safest way to connect you to your tribe.
And while there’s still a lot of work to be done – making online dating inclusive (not only perfectly suited for the straights) and reducing the harassment of LGBTQIA+ individuals on the apps, there are platforms that are going beyond the traditional heteronormative frameworks and are making it easier, safe and fun for LGBTQ persons (queer women and non-binary persons in this case) to meet.
So, if you’re tired of being single or want to interact with your tribe, here are eight incredibly fun and safe dating apps that queer women or non-binary people can use.
Her
Part queer dating app, part social networking platform, Her was designed for lesbians to queer women, bois to femmes, trans to fluid, and every other LGBTQ+ identifying person in between.
It’s, however, a little different from traditional dating apps since it features an events calendar (it suggests queer events you can attend in your area) and enables users to develop a social media-like presence via profiles.
Countries Available: 125+
Cost: Free. You could also upgrade for $ 15 a month to access all filters on identities
Lex
Described as the “text-centered dating app for queer lovers and friends,” Lex is modeled after old personal ads (retro). So that means profiles feature detailed bios that put an emphasis on your traits and interests rather than photos.
So if you consider yourself an old soul or are a sucker for simple, nostalgic, and romantic gestures, this app is for you, hun!
Countries Available: 200+
Cost: Free
Feeld
Feeld is one of the most open-minded LGBTQ dating apps. It allows people to explore their desires, find their tribes, share their kinks and fantasies, and basically everything you’re looking for in the romance department.
If you’re a sex-positive human who wants everything from a menage e trois, polyamorous relationship to a monogamous long-term partnership, this is the app you should be downloading RN!
Countries Available: 150+
Cost: Completely free
Lesly
Designed by lesbian dating experts, Lesly specifically caters to the romantic needs of lesbians and bisexual women.
It works similarly to Tinder (it has even been dubbed the Tinder and Grindr for lesbians”, so you can swipe left or right to find the perfect match.
Oh, and because the Lesly staff evaluates registered users for authenticity, you can be sure that the people you match with aren’t bots!
Countries Available: 15 worldwide
Cost: Free. You could get an upgraded version for $9.99 a month
Platforms: Google Play
Fem
TikTokers, this dating app is for you!
Fem is based on video profiles, so you can put your personality on display and get a sense of who others are before setting up a date IRL. If you’re too shy to make a video, don’t fret. You can go the photos way.
Also, the app allows group chat, so if you’re looking to meet a bunch of other lesbians at once, this is the Android dating app to be downloading right now!
Countries Available: Not specified
Cost: Free with numerous in-app purchases
Platforms: Android
Hinge
Hinge is perfect for anyone looking to meet a long-term partner (it calls itself “the dating app to be deleted).
Unlike other platforms, the app matches users with friends of friends, so every person you meet has a real human to back them up. So, if you’re looking for a hookup, this might not be the best dating app for you.
Also, users answer written (and, as of 2023, audio) prompts in addition to adding pics and videos.
Countries Available: 20 worldwide
Cost: Free. Upgrade versions are also available ($29.99 for one month, $59.99 for three months ($19 a month), and $89.99 for six months ($14 a month).
Thurst
Thurst is the only LGBTQ dating app that caters to people of all genders and sexualities – cisgender, non-binary, transgender, and non-binary people of color.
According to its founder, Morgen Bromwell, the app is specifically for Black lesbians, queers, and trans individuals. It is committed to fighting racism, sexism, transphobia, harassment, and homophobia in the dating space.
It is also one of the only Black lesbian dating apps that emphasizes safety and privacy by offering secure messaging to users. It doesn’t also connect to social networks or share users’ data.
Countries Available: Not specified
Cost: Free
Platforms: Android
Qutie
If you’re ready to have a lasting relationship, LGBTQutie is the app for you. It is specifically designed to help people, particularly queer women, non-binary persons, and other LGBTQ cuties build meaningful connections with each other.
Also, it is one of the few dating apps with in-app video messages that help reassure users they’re talking to a fellow human, not a random bot.
Countries Available: USA and UK
Cost: Free, but you can get a rainbow subscription for advanced filters and an ad-free experience for $10.90
Platforms: Android
How To Find Your Perfect Partner On Queer Dating Apps
Dating apps are hectic. And if you’re like some of us, you’re probably wondering why you can’t seem to score a date or find that perfect woman or man for you. Well, maybe try these tips (they’ve been said to be fool-proof in helping you find an ideal partner):
1. Window Shopping Is Encouraged: we peruse tens if not hundreds of profiles when searching for the perfect house, the perfect wedding dress, or even the perfect couch.
So why should dating be different? So put a profile on Hinge, Her, Qutie, and Thurst to expand your potential pool, and maybe you might find that perfect person sooner than later.
2. Be Intentional With Your Profile: have you ever seen someone’s profile and noticed, “Wow, she really put some thought into this – she’s witty, funny, and cute ASF.” You can literally see their personality.
That’s how to do it. Vagueness only attracts vagueness. Intentional profiles will also attract other intentional profiles, so be intentional, love.
3. In the Spirit Of Intentionality, Be Clear With What You Want: if you’re looking for something casual, say it. If you’re up for a long-term relationship, put it in your profile.
Don’t worry about scaring people off or coming off as too forward. Doing so helps weed out the hookups and casual situationships and attract the right ones (yes, even the perfect partner).
4. Exercise Patience: Rome wasn’t built in a day. Some people might find their persons on dating apps in a month, others in a year.
But if you’re focused on your intention (finding the perfect partner), the timeline won’t bother you. It won’t even feel tedious.
How To Ensure You’re Safe While Online Dating
In the wake of Tinder Swindlers, Bumble rapists, and dating app serial killers, it’s important to check your safety when using these apps to meet people. And how do you do that? By implementing these tips:
1. Use A Different Photo For Your Dating Profile: anyone can do a reverse image search with Google. So, if your dating profile has a picture that also shows up on your Snapchat, Instagram, or Facebook account, it’ll be easier for anyone to find you on social media.
2. Keep An Eye On The Geography Settings In Dating Apps: most dating apps use your location to find singles near you. However, strangers shouldn’t be allowed access to information that enables them to find your house or neighborhood.
3. Keep The Conversation On The App For A While: beware of matches who try rushing off a dating platform and moving conversations to text, phone calls, or WhatsApp. This might indicate that they don’t want their behavior tracked by the app.
Plus, doing so makes it hard for dating apps to advocate for you in case something horrific happens or retain evidence of your conversations for any potential legal reasons.
4. Your Intuition Is Always Right. Trust It: if you see any suspicious behavior, report it ASAP. That’s the only way to protect yourself from the “Simon Levievs” and “Khalil Wheeler-Weavers“. Also, pay attention to these dating app red flags:
- Offers vague answers to specific questions
- Becomes overly intimate or “romantic” right off the bat (that’s what we here call love-bombing, hun)
- Pressures you into offering your personal information like your phone number, home address, or work address
- Their messages seem to be automated or passed through translation
- Tries getting your personal data under the guise of sending you flowers or gifts (scammer alert!)
- Requests for financial assistance in any way, often due to some individual or family issues (hello, Tinder Swindler)
- Tells you inconsistent and grandiose stories
5. Choose A Public Place When Meeting Up IRL: until you know your date, avoid meeting up at their apartment, mother’s basement, or wherever else they might coerce you to meet.
Have them meet you at your favorite restaurant, near your brother’s workshop, or somewhere you feel completely safe.
6. Send Your Loved Ones GPS Locations Of Everywhere You Go: others might call it paranoia, but we call it being extremely cautious and safe. So, if you move the date to another location, send your BFF or sibling your GPS location and your date’s vehicle’s plate number, too.
