Ah, the holidays—supposedly the most wonderful time of the year. Picture it: Mariah Carey tunes playing in the background, the scent of Grandma’s apple pie wafting through the air, and an overwhelming sense of peace. Sounds like a dream, right?
Well, not for over 30% of the population. According to an American Psychological Association study, the holidays can be a trigger for a rollercoaster of emotions—stress, anxiety, and internal turmoil that make you want to avoid family gatherings altogether.
Unsurprisingly, there’s a higher likelihood of an uptick in depression, elevated instances of excessive alcohol consumption, and a rise in self-harm cases during the holidays compared to other times of the year.
So, if this sounds like you and all your festive seasons are filled with more chaos than carols, we have some expert tips to help turn things around and make this holiday season one for the books – or at least help you survive that family dinner without a meltdown.
Keep scrolling for the ECT-approved antidote to almost all your holiday triggers.
If Every Family Gathering Has Been Triggering
Most holiday celebrations are spent with family, and while you might want to be all chummy and cool with every family member, there are those whose primary purpose on earth is to destroy your peace.
So, if you want to go home for Christmas, but your anxiety levels are already going off the roof, you need to start prepping in advance. This means setting boundaries with your family and letting them know of these boundaries beforehand.
You can also attend the event, but ensure to have minimal contact with the individuals who upset you. And it’s okay to say ‘no thank you’ or ‘I am not comfortable talking about this right now.’
And if the situation is extreme, you can always choose to remove yourself from the situation altogether. Because if something or a situation makes you feel unworthy, stressed out, or about to get into a cycle of blood pressure,
If You’re In A Financial Slump
The holidays are all about giving, which might lead you to believe that you need to gift lavish presents to everyone in your life. Coupled with the heavy advertising running through the holiday season, your bank account can quickly end up in the dumps, seriously affecting the coming year.
So don’t feel bad if you can’t afford lavish gifts for everyone around you. Consider focusing on experiences instead or even downgrade your budget to accommodate what you currently have.
You can also change up some traditions to ensure that even though you’re spending less or no money, you still get to enjoy yourself. So, instead of eating at your usual restaurant, y’all can have a potluck or BYOB dinner.
Additionally, you need to have an honest conversation with your loved ones and let them know where you currently stand – meaning if they’re planning to spend the holidays at a resort, you might not be able to afford it, which is okay. Just don’t stretch yourself thin to make others comfortable.
Good News: For those last-minute shoppers, we have some fantastic and very pocket-friendly gift ideas for the Gen Z niece or nephew, homebody BFF, Nordstrom-obsessed sister, and loyal black-owned-brands-consumer in your life.
If You Have A Love And Hate Relationship With Food
Most of us envision the holidays as a time to indulge and maybe even overindulge in food while telling ourselves we will burn off the calories during the new year. If you already have a rocky relationship with your eating habits, this can be a very slippery slope.
So, to deal with this holiday trigger, you need to ensure that you hold on to the habits you’ve spent all year building. And while you might feel the need to be a bit flexible, you shouldn’t also throw your entire meal plan out the window.
You’ll also need to be firm with your well-intentioned food-pushing relatives. Remind them that your body and eating patterns are non-negotiable. Additionally, if your diet is restrictive for medical or personal reasons, notify the hosts or pack your snacks/ meals.
If You Deal With Unrealistic Expectations From Your Family
Watching many Hallmark movies and Disney cartoons gave us mental images of the perfect holiday season. While this may apply to some people, it’s not an across-the-board fact.
Just because it’s Christmas, it doesn’t automatically mean that the things you might have been struggling with will disappear. While you might be a pro at shelving your feelings and troubles, pasting on a grin every day during the holidays will leave you drained.
To deal with this holiday trigger, you’ll need to be practical about what you can control and what you can handle. This will allow you to hold on to your sanity and maybe even enjoy the period.
Also, remember to stick to simple routines and rituals that don’t stress you unnecessarily. And if you have to do it all, delegate – don’t be a Mother Goose.
it’s better to walk out than pretend you’re okay.
If Being Alone Is Your Holiday Trigger
There are various reasons you might be alone for the holidays. You might be too far from your loved ones, they might be deceased, you might have a tumultuous relationship, or the travel costs are just too high this time of year.
Regardless of the reason, being alone when everyone is surrounded by loved ones can be deeply triggering.
So, the best way to cope with this holiday trigger is by planning a small gathering or Friends-Xmas-Soiree, attending events virtually, or even finding a group of people with circumstances similar to yours – like Alcoholics Anonymous but more of a Lonely-Hearts Christmas Group.
And if that’s not possible, you can fill your time with hobbies that give you joy, do some voluntary work, catch up on the movies that everyone’s been talking about while you’ve been at work and school (The Color Purple, anyone?), or spend Christmas loving on yourself more. Heck, you plan a short vacation to Miami or wherever.
The main goal here is to be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion.
If You’re Riddled With Fatigue And Exhaustion Every Holiday Season
Fatigue can be mentally, physically, or emotionally draining, and if left unchecked, it can leave you burned out and too tired to enjoy the season or even look forward to the coming year.
Avoid overcommitting to things during this season, and don’t be afraid to turn down plans and events, even if they’re with loved ones. Also, avoid the things or people who drain your energy and make time for personal interests and needs.
Whatever Else You Might Consider A Holiday Trigger
The best way to manage holiday triggers is to identify and handle them like any other time of the year. Practice consistent self-care and remember to give yourself grace and compassion even as you deal with your anxiety-triggering family or friends.
Make a schedule every day so you can curate a solid plan and schedule in ways that care for your mental, physical, and emotional health. Figure out the days likely to be particularly demanding (like Christmas Eve, Christmas, and New Year) and plan your favorite self-care activities before, during, or after those days.
Additionally, create a grounding game plan for those inevitable triggering moments. This can be doing some breathwork, journaling, venting to your also-triggered best friend (FYI, this helps; we can attest to it), or your therapist-approved coping skills.
Anxiety, depression, and stress can be isolating. But you don’t have to go this alone. Don’t hesitate to get in touch with your trusted friend, therapist, or another trusted professional for support.
And in case you can’t reach anyone, here are some contacts to help you out this holiday season:
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – 988
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-Tlak (1-800-273-8255)
Black Emotional And Mental Health Collective – 1-800-604-5841
LGBTQ National Hotline – 1-888-843-4564
