Come. Let’s chat for a minute.
On a typical day, you’d rather be caught dead than picking your nose in public, right? Talking over your nana at Thanksgiving dinner? A definite side-eye situation.
So, what happens when you step onto a plane? Does a travel gremlin possess everyone, causing manners to vanish faster than a complimentary bag of peanuts? Because, suddenly, overhead bin battles feel like the Olympics, and personal space shrinks quicker than a snatched wig on a windy day.
Some transgressions are forgivable, like removing your shoes (but keep those socks on!). But others? Those are the ambiguous moral gray zones everyone seems to be wrestling with. Lucky for you, we’ve written them all down, so you finally know what all those side-eyes have been trying to tell you.
Ready to become a certified airplane etiquette pro and avoid the collective groan of your fellow passengers?
Keep scrolling.
Have All Your Documents Before Getting To The Front Line
The security line can feel like a maze sometimes, especially if you’re not familiar with the process. Here are some quick tips to avoid any last-minute fumbling and keep the line moving:
- Pack Smart: Leave bulky boots for your checked luggage. Think slip-on shoes for easy removal at the scanner.
- Pre-Unpack Your Essentials: Have your ID, boarding pass, and any liquids separated and ready to go by the time you reach the front.
- Empty Pockets, Empty Stress: Empty your pockets of loose change, keys, or anything else that might set off the alarm.
The Terminal Ain’t Your Living Room
I don’t know what it is about air travel, but it’s got this power to turn the most mild-mannered accountant into a bumbling circus performer.
One minute, you’re a model citizen, thanking and tipping your cab driver; the next, you’re juggling a screaming phone call, a rogue shoe with wanderlust, taking every single plug within a 10-mile radius (territory marking much?), and unpacking and repacking your overstuffed carry-on in the middle of the airport.
This isn’t your living room. Keep it quiet, silence the symphony of questionable smells, and for the love of all that’s decent, be courteous to your fellow travelers. It won’t cost you a thing.
Reclining Is Okay…Sometimes
Ah, the great reclining debate! Here’s the lowdown:
- On longer flights (think red-eyes), reclining your seat can be a total comfort saver. Just be mindful of those behind you
- No one behind you? Recline away and enjoy the extra legroom
- If there’s a passenger behind you, a quick “Excuse me, would you mind if I reclined?” goes a long way.
That’s it!
Leave The Speakerphone Tea At Home, Please
Headphones exist (for FaceTime, too!), so keep your drama and tunes private, please?
And Please, No Calls In The Bathroom. No seriously. Stop. Doing. It.
Headphones On Means Do Not Disturb
Speaking of headphones, once they go on, that means we don’t want to know whether your boyfriend has been looking at your goat funny or your nana has been dating a 20-year-old. Please, don’t talk to me.
You Can Take Off Your Shoes But Socks? Always Stay On
Taking shoes off on a flight? Totally fine (your tired toes will, thank you!). Just remember, plane floors are not personal beaches – so socks are a must. And keep those tootsies tucked under your seat to avoid any unwanted airplane footsie.
Don’t Wallow In Cologne, But Deodorant Is A Must
In fact, wear twice as much deodorant and bring a backup. We’ll leave it at that, thanks.
Don’t Be A B**ch To Flight Attendants
Planes can be stressful for everyone, but remember, flight attendants are just like us – employees trying to do their jobs. Show them the respect they deserve! Listen to the safety briefings, say “thank you” for their service, and take off your headphones when they’re speaking to you.
Travel Tip: We’ve all heard stories about friendly passengers getting special treatment – a refreshing drink, a tip on a great hotel, or just a little extra TLC.
Flight Attendant Button: Not Your Vodka Tonic Refreshment Bell
Consider it the 911 of the sky – a button you use in an emergency, not because you need a vodka tonic refresh.
Don’t Even Think About Nailcare
Planes are not your personal spa. Keep the clipping, filing, and painting under wraps—ditto for loud grooming routines. Nobody wants a mid-air makeover.
Don’t Yell At Babies, Please!
Let’s face it: crying babies on planes can be challenging for everyone. But before you reach for frustration, consider a few tips for a smoother journey:
- Empathy is vital: Remember, parents are likely feeling just as stressed as you are.
- Noise-canceling headphones: They can be a lifesaver for blocking out unwanted noise.
- Distraction magic: Engaging content like music, podcasts, or a good book can help you tune out.
- A touch of kindness: Sometimes, a friendly smile or a “baby giggles are the cutest” comment can go a long way.
- Preparedness: Pack earplugs if headphones aren’t your thing.
If It’s A Short Flight, Leave The Skincare In Your Bag
We all adore our skincare routines! But for flights under 6 hours, save the pampering for your destination. While a multi-step routine might sound romantic mid-flight, nobody wants to be in the mist radius of your favorite spray.
For a quick refresh, hit the restroom and do a touch-up. Your fellow passengers (and your seat!) will thank you!
The Middle Seat Takes The Armrests Periodt!
The middle seat armrest debate is a hill we will die on! The one good thing about sitting in the middle seat is that you get two armrests, so don’t be a greedy Gerard who tries to take two. When you’re in the middle seat, it is your absolute right – ordained by the plane gods – to take up the armrests!
Yes. It’s not a conversation. It’s a given.
Pack A Snack, But Skip The Tuna Terror
Sneaking tuna sandwiches onto the plane? That’s a definite no-go on the list of Unforgivable Airport Faux Pas. If your snack choice is something your feline overlord would devour, then it’s definitely a bit too intense for the cabin.
If you must pack something for your hanger pangs, go for travel-friendly treats – peanuts, chips, protein bars – they’ll keep your tummy happy without turning the cabin into an olfactory nightmare.
Your Emotional Support Animal Is Cute And All, But They Need To Mind Their Manners Too
We all adore our furry travel companions but remember, the airport isn’t Fido’s personal playground. Let’s use this travel time to showcase those impressive leash manners – after all, a well-trained pup can put even the most seasoned traveler to shame!
Keep Your Limbs To Yourself, Please
The in-flight announcements might not mention this, so consider it a public service announcement: Always point your knees ahead. Never spread.
Remember, happy seatmates make happy flights.
Clapping When The Plane Lands= Side-Eye City
Unless you’re part of the cabin crew’s cheering squad, clapping when the plane lands will always invite some major side-eye.
You’re Not The Only One In A Hurry
The plane shrieks to a halt, and the ding of impending freedom echoes through the cabin. You want to flee this metal bird ASAP. That’s understandable.
But rather than acting out your The Amazing Race dreams, why not respect the order of deplaning by waiting until it’s your turn to exit?
Bonus points if you channel your inner Mother Teresa and allow your plane mates with tight connections to go ahead of you.
