I Just Turned 40 – A Letter To My 20 Year Old Self


A letter to my 20 year old self, where do I start? – Hindsight is 20/20 right? Tackling this from that perspective feels much better than being regretful. I always say regret is a useless notion because ultimately, we can only be present, and only move forward – even if moving forward is seemingly taking multiple steps back.

In reflecting on year 20, I can truly say, I was a whole beast in those Houston streets. I’d somehow made it through my sophomore year and graduated from showing up on test days (yay to the syllabus!), titty bar tales (let’s save that topic for another day), working corporate jobs through the summer to keep from having to go back home, transitioning to a holier than thou lifestyle of religious study, abstinence, and sobriety.

Let me tell you, I did a lot of growing during that time frame and it was all worth it. Junior year I was working a couple of internships on top of the job, doing music here and there, and diving into my marketing major classes through participation and intense focus on classwork – alluhdat honey.

I had a couple of steady boyfriends here and there, but romantic relationships were not at all a priority. That’s the backdrop. So, what advice in retrospect would I give my 20 Yr old self now that I’m a proud member of the 40 club?

It’s still January sooooo, let’s make a list:

1. Don’t be afraid to get uncomfortable! Just because you learn quickly and have a competitive personality that causes you to want to be the best in whatever you do, make sure that you consistently challenge yourself. Complacency is NOT your friend.

2. So you took some time to learn about religion, spirituality, and dove headfirst into a conspiracy – you don’t know everything chile – settle down. Learn more, take on other perspectives sooner. There is more than one path to enlightenment.

3. Give the white football player with a super-wealthy family a chance girl. (LMAO!) I’m kidding, or am I?

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4. For the love of sweet black baby Jesus, don’t get too serious too fast in your romantic relationships. Take your time to get to know someone, meet their family, see how they interact with them in private and social settings. If someone says, “You complete me” – RUN! In romantic relationships, one plus one is what equals one.

5. If you get invited to a jam session by Erykah Badu’s musical director – GO! But leave that boy at the club, he’s grown and can find a ride home.

6. When you have a child, regardless of the situation, protect her fiercely. Be Mama bear especially in the home, not just outside of it.

7. Be wiser with your money. You are going to wonder where in the heck it went.

8. Make time to spend time with your blood and chosen family. Relationships matter more than status and accomplishments.

9. Regarding family, friends, and associates, don’t take advice from ANYONE who isn’t living the life you want to live and doesn’t have the fruit on the tree that you want. PeriodT.

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10. When you interact with loved ones in person or on the phone, don’t stop telling them that you love them. This earth walk is short and the next moment isn’t promised.

What would a letter to your 20 year old self look like? Comment below!



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