Is “Meh” Your New Normal? It’s Not You, It’s Rust-Out

Burnout is the big, bad wolf we all know and fear – the result of pushing too hard for too long. But have you heard of its lesser-known, less-obvious, stealthier cousin, rust-out?

A recent survey by mmhmm, a research organization focused on workplace wellness, found that 67% of over 1,000 U.S. knowledge workers reported experiencing rust-out at some point. Even worse, 72% admitted they’d leave or quit a job because of it.

But rust-out’s reach extends far beyond the cubicle. It can subtly infiltrate your relationships – it might be why those once-sparkling conversations with your partner have become stale. Even parenthood isn’t immune. Has the joy of raising your tiny humans felt a touch muted lately?

If you’re nodding along, you’re not alone. This article dives deep into rust-out, exploring its causes and equipping you with practical strategies to combat and prevent it.

What Is Rust-Out?

Rust-out isn’t just boredom, though boredom can be a symptom. It’s the feeling of stagnation and apathy that creeps in when your skills, passions, or interests aren’t consistently nurtured.

Think of it like underutilized muscles at the gym. Without regular exercise, they become weak and sluggish. The same happens with our skills and enthusiasm when we neglect to challenge and engage ourselves.

This lack of stimulation can manifest in all areas of life. Employees feel underutilized and under-stimulated. Tasks that once felt exciting become monotonous chores. In relationships, conversations that used to spark with energy might feel stale. Even the joy of parenthood can become muted by the constant “meh” feeling.

What’s The Difference Between Rust-Out And Burnout?

Burnout is caused by the relentless demands of a role. It’s the emotional exhaustion that sets in when you’re constantly pushed to meet deadlines or unrealistic expectations. You might feel overwhelmed, drained, and unable to cope with the pressure. For many Black women, this pressure can be compounded by the additional challenges of navigating workplace bias and striving for recognition.

Rust-out is caused by the opposite: the mundaneness of something. This might happen when your job becomes monotonous, or your manager underutilizes your skills and talents. The result? Frustration, boredom, and feeling stuck in a rut with no opportunities for growth or progress.

Teena Clouston, author of Challenging Stress, Burnout, and Rust-Out, told Oprah Daily that rust-out is a “term that captures a sense of feeling disengaged, purposeless, apathetic, and alienated. It directly relates to a lack of satisfaction or meaning in life.”

Burnout is like a car engine overheating from being pushed too hard for too long without enough coolant. Rust-out, however, is like a car idling in the garage for weeks on end; it’s not being driven anywhere, so dust collects, the battery drains, and it slowly loses its spark and readiness to hit the road.

What Are The Signs And Symptoms Of Rust-Out?

Not sure if you’ve been suffering from burnout or rust-out? Here’s how it projects itself in various aspects of your life:

Rust-Out Signs In The Workplace

• Zoning out: You zone out more than a toddler at nap time. Where’d the hours go?
• Procrastination: Procrastination has become your new BFF (although studies still believe it is a sign of depression).
• Irritability: You keep snapping at your co-workers and clients as if they owe you last season’s fashion sense.
• Avoiding work events: Work events? Nah! Free food and networking? Sounds tempting, but the thought of putting on your “work face” sounds like a whole lot. So nope!
• Reluctance to speak up: Your boss has an open-door policy, but your mouth feels glued shut. Speaking your truth? Nah, just keep your head down; everything will end soon.
• Declining work quality: Work that falls below your usual standards, especially if you’re a perfectionist.
• Clock-watching: Constantly checking the time or feeling like the workday is dragging on.
• Lack of motivation: Feigning illness or lacking motivation to get up for work because the thought of your job feels uninspiring.
• Feeling invisible: A sense of invisibility, like your voice doesn’t matter or your contributions blend into the background.
• Going through the motions: Feeling like you’re constantly going through the motions, lacking the motivation to bring yourself to work.
• Passionless work: You’re basically sleepwalking through your job. Where’s the passion? Where’s the fire? It’s gone, girl. Vanished.

Rust-Out In Relationships

• Conversations with your boo feel like pulling teeth. Those late-night talks? Became a distant memory.
• Netflix and crickets are your new normal. You’d rather scroll through social media than actually connect.
• Cuddles? What cuddles? Even holding hands feels like a chore.
• You’re emotionally distant. You’re in the same room but miles apart.
• Date night ideas? It’s more like “date night sighs.” Everything feels dull and uninspired.
• Supporting bae’s dreams? Feels hard. Their passions don’t excite you anymore, honey.
• Y’all argue over everything, even the color of the sky. But it’s not about the issue. It’s about a more profound disconnect.
• Talking about your feelings feels like a foreign language. Communication is stuck on mute.
• Growing apart, not together. You’re stuck, and bae ain’t exactly helping you bloom.
• Self-care? What self-care? You’re so focused on keeping the relationship afloat that you neglect your needs.

Rust-Out Signs As A Mom

• You’ve got the patience of a hangry toddler at nap time. Everything sets you off, from spilled juice to your partner putting the diaper on backward (again!).
• You’re always in “I don’t know why” mode. I don’t know why my baby’s screaming her lungs out. I don’t understand why she’s got a rash on her bum. I don’t know why I have this or that.
• You constantly daydream about another life where your kids are “well-behaved” and want to swap lives with seemingly perfect moms on Instagram whose kids sit down for breakfast, don’t yell in the supermarket, and don’t soil themselves because they were potty-trained at four months.
• The mom bun has become your permanent crown, and those comfy sweatpants have become your second skin.
• You feel terrible for not feeling the same exhilaration about motherhood you once did. Remember, mama, this doesn’t mean you love your kids any less!

What Causes Rust-Out?

Being a boss babe, a supportive partner, or a rockstar mom is no small feat. But even the most amazing people get a little rusty sometimes.

Here’s what can contribute to that feeling of disconnection and lack of spark:

Rust-Out Causes In The Workplace

• The Double Shift: You constantly feel like you must prove yourself twice as hard, battling microaggressions and navigating a system that wasn’t built for you.
• Lack of mentorship: Finding mentors who understand your unique experiences as a Black woman can be challenging, leaving you feeling unsupported.
• The “Strong Black Woman” Phenomenon: The pressure to be the unbreakable rock for everyone can leave you feeling drained and unsupported.
• Invisibility: Your ideas get overlooked, and your voice feels muffled in a workplace that doesn’t value your unique perspective.
• Lack of challenge or growth: The work becomes monotonous, your skills stagnate, and there’s no opportunity to learn or advance.
• Work-life imbalance: The lines between work and personal life blur, leaving you feeling constantly stressed and overwhelmed.
• The “Meh” Factor: Your work feels meaningless or doesn’t align with your goals and values.

Rust-Out In Your Relationship

• Falling out of sync: Life gets busy, conversations become routine, and you lose that spark of connection you once shared.
• Letting Intimacy Fade: The little gestures of affection and emotional connection (and yes, physical intimacy, too!) fall by the wayside.
• Unmet needs: One or both partners feel their needs aren’t being met, leading to frustration and resentment.
• Misaligned goals: You and your partner no longer feel like you’re on the same team, with shared dreams or goals for the future.
• Unresolved conflicts: Issues keep getting swept under the rug, creating tension and a lack of trust.
• The “Pick Me” Dance: Society’s messages can make Black women feel they must downplay their success or ambitions to be attractive to partners. This can create an inauthentic dynamic in your relationship.
• Cultural differences: If you and your partner come from different backgrounds, navigating cultural norms and expectations can complicate your relationship.

Rust-Out Triggers As A Mom

• The “Groundhog Day” effect: Every day feels the same, with endless routines and a lack of spontaneity.
• Constant demands and little self-care: There’s never a break from the needs of your little ones, leaving you feeling depleted and unseen.
• Unrealistic expectations (yours or society’s): The pressure to be a “perfect” mom can be crushing and lead to guilt and self-doubt.
• Lack of a solid and engaged support system: Feeling isolated and alone in the challenges of motherhood can take a toll on your emotional well-being.
• Microaggressions and parenting: Navigating the world with your child while constantly having to explain or defend your parenting choices can be a constant source of stress.

Why Black Women Are More Susceptible to Rust-Out in the Workplace

Feeling disconnected and unmotivated (rust-out) can strike anyone. However, Black women face unique challenges that contribute to it at a higher rate.

The statistics paint a concerning picture. A Women in the Workplace report by McKinsey & Company revealed a staggering disparity: for every 100 white men promoted to managerial-level roles, only 20 Black women achieved the same career advancement. This “broken rung” on the corporate ladder exemplifies how Black women must work exponentially harder – often five times as much as their white male counterparts (and twice as hard as white women) – just for equal opportunities.

But the obstacles don’t end there. Even when Black women do crack the promotion ceiling, they must navigate a minefield of microaggressions and racial bias. Being mistaken for a junior colleague, having their ideas credited to others, enduring casual remarks laced with unconscious prejudice – these seemingly small slights can take an immense psychological toll over time, fueling feelings of alienation, injustice, and rust-out.

Overcoming these multifaceted challenges requires understanding their root causes and taking meaningful action. By fostering truly inclusive workplace cultures that proactively address microaggressions, promote unbiased evaluations, and create robust mentorship pathways for Black women, organizations can dismantle systemic barriers and cultivate environments where all employees can thrive equally.

Only then can we stomp out the disproportionate rust-out risks faced by Black women professionals.

Strategies To Deal With And Prevent Rust-Out

As you can see, rust-out is an everyday experience, not a sign of weakness.

The good news?

There are ways to recharge and rediscover your spark, no matter where you feel the disconnect. Here are some powerful strategies:

Coping With Rust-Out In The Workplace

• Identify Your Rust-Out Triggers: Is it a lack of challenge in your tasks, unrealistic deadlines, or a toxic work environment? Take time to pinpoint the specific factors draining your motivation.
• Realign with Your Values: Have you drifted from what truly matters to you? Take some time to reconnect—journal about your strengths, passions, and ideal work environment. Websites like Psychology Today offer great value assessment tools to help you rediscover what motivates you.
• Find Your Tribe: Feeling isolated at work? Build a supportive network! Join industry associations or online communities. Grab a coffee with a like-minded colleague and create a “workplace support group.” Knowing you’re not alone can make a big difference.
• Shake Up Your Routine: Feeling stuck in a rut? Try a new project, attend a workshop, or mentor a junior colleague. Fresh challenges can reignite your passion.
• Set Boundaries & Advocate for Yourself: Respect your time! Establish clear boundaries between work and personal life. Don’t hesitate to speak up about your goals and seek growth opportunities.

Dealing With Rust-Out In Your Relationship

• Schedule Regular Check-Ins: Dedicate time to talk openly and honestly about your feelings and needs.
• Rekindle the Flame: Plan date nights, try new hobbies together, or simply show appreciation with small gestures.
• Seek Professional Help: Consider couples therapy to address deeper issues or learn new communication techniques.
• Prioritize Intimacy (Emotional & Physical): Make time for physical touch, affectionate gestures, and heart-to-heart conversations.
• Remember You’re Team: Strengthen your bond by working together towards shared goals and dreams.
• Don’t Be Too Hard on Yourself: Relationships take work and require constant effort. There will be ups and downs, but by prioritizing communication and connection, you can overcome any rust-out and keep your love story thriving.

How To Cope With Rust-Out As A Mom

• Break the Monotony: Shake things up with new activities and routines. Explore your local park, try a new recipe together, or have a family game night.
• Schedule Self-Care: Even small acts of self-care can make a difference. Take a relaxing bath, switch the mom bun to a simple pony, read a book, or meet a friend for coffee. Prioritize your well-being, mama!
• Delegate and Ask for Help: Don’t be a superhero! Involve your partner, family, or friends in childcare and household tasks.
• Reclaim Your Identity: Schedule time for hobbies or activities you enjoy outside of motherhood. Rediscover your passions and interests.
• Build Your Support System: Connect with other moms, join a playgroup, or find an online community for shared experiences and encouragement.