In an exclusive with PEOPLE DC Young Fly is reflecting on how losing so many people in his life has affected the way he approaches grief.
In PEOPLE’s exclusive sneak peek of Tuesday’s episode of Tamron Hall, the Wild N’ Out star, 31, reveals that he “scared myself” upon reacting to the death of his partner Jacky Oh.
“I’d had been through so much loss,” he explains of his response to learning of a loved one’s death. “Emotionally, I’m numb to death, because I’m used to it.”
DC Young Fly shares that his first exposure to loss happened when he was 16 and he felt a “different reaction” to every death he’s experienced over the years.
“With my cousin, I was angry,” he begins. “When my father died, I was at peace. When my best friend died, I was confused. Now, when my girl died, I’m shocked.”
“And who is this for?” he says of Jacky’s death. “Who do I talk to? Because this not only affects me, it affects my children. They have [gone] through something that I ain’t even been through.”
The television personality reveals how his partner’s death has affected their children: Nova, Nala, and Prince Nehemiah. He believes that his daughters have received “the spirit” and as a result, have been able to comfort the entire family as they navigate through their grief.
“Nala, she’ll just come out of the blue and be like, ‘What’s wrong, Daddy? You okay? Don’t worry. Everything will be okay,’” he recalls before sharing another incident where his eldest daughter Nova shared encouraging words to her aunt.
“I hear my older daughter, Nova, she [says], ‘Oh, I heard auntie in there crying. I told her, ‘Daddy said stop crying. We supposed to be strong. We’re gonna be alright,’” he says. “That’s the [Holy] Spirit letting me know that they’re on their way. They’re built for it, it’s gonna be hard but they’re built for it.”
DC Young Fly admits that he wouldn’t “wish” the pain of losing their partners on anybody. Though time has passed since Jacky’s death in May, he explains that her death still feels like a “dream” and he feels like she could walk through the door at any moment.
The TRL alum says that he’s never dealt with “past traumas” in the public eye, so the experience of losing the mother of his children has been “different.”
“I’m private… I really don’t even want y’all in my business,” he continues, revealing that he’s been open about his grief to give a “helping hand” to others in the same situation.
Watch below:
Jacky died after complications due to cosmetic surgery on May 31 at age 33. Following the news of her death, a BET Media Group spokesperson honored her life with a statement shared with PEOPLE.
“We are deeply saddened by the passing of Jacklyn Smith, known to the world as Jacky Oh, a talented Wild ‘N Out family member whose impact will be forever treasured and missed,” the statement read.
“Jacky Oh was a loving friend and beloved colleague of the ‘Wild ‘N Out’ cast throughout five seasons,” the spokesperson continued. “More importantly, she was a tremendous mother to three beautiful children.”
We are keeping DC and his family lifted in prayer.
