Question. Do you know how much money your best friend makes? When was the last time you discussed financials with your sister or brother? If your parents died today (God forbid), would you know how much money they have in the bank or their savings account?
The thing is, like religion and sex, talking about money is considered a faux pas. A taboo that has been so ingrained in us that bringing it up can turn you into a social pariah.
People would rather talk about how so and so are having a messy divorce, ask that new guy the dreaded “where is this going” question, and brag about the excellent discount sales Macy’s has been having than talk about their salaries.
Somehow, announcing that you got a pretty cushy job and are making over $100k a year over brunch with your best friends (whom you’ve known for over 10 years!) doesn’t feel normal (more like a scene in a Conjuring movie).
It’s so controversial that…
Jordyn Woods Thinks Money Discussions Should Remain Private
“I just feel like it complicates things,” the Woods By Jordyn CEO said in an interview with Revolt’s show Asset Over Liabilities.
“And I don’t like sharing financial stuff with really anybody except the people I need to know. I just feel like money complicates things. If we are having an idea talking about and a sense of financial literacy, or is this the right move or should I buy this or whatever, it’s fine,” she continued.
“But, like, if we’re working together, I wanna have a contract, have it all in writing, talk about it once, and then we don’t have to talk about it again.”
Jordyn also thinks sharing income with friends breeds room for pocket-watching.
“I also just feel like people, I wouldn’t say my friends, but you just don’t know how people are, and you don’t want people to end up feeling like jealous or counting your pockets, or you go out, and people are like, ‘well, you could pay for it all,’” the model/singer told hosts Rashad Bilal and Troy Millings.
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Several people agreed with her opinion, but others thought she needed new friends if she couldn’t discuss money with them.
I totally agree. It is called WISDOM. The truth of the matter is that you are your own best friend or your own worst enemy,so you should learn to be at peace and in harmony with yourself, once you can do this,you will not feel that you need to say out everything. Wisdom is key
— Catherine (@lovetrisha630) August 21, 2023
I believe women SHOULD discuss salary with one another to break down the barriers we have in the workplace. Everything is so hush hush, meanwhile we are getting underpaid -especially as Black women. This convo is how we learn about salary discrepancies. Transparency is key.
— Mama Thee Tired 😴🥱 (@Sunkissed1986) August 21, 2023
I agree with the latter (not that she should get new friends), but we need to start discussing our financials with our friends (those you trust with your life).
Yes, it might sometimes create room for pocket-watching, but talking about money with your best friends can benefit you, your career, and your future.
Let me explain how:
Why I Think It’s Important To Talk About Money With Your Friends
Friends Can Help You Improve Your Finances
When it comes to spending, my BFF and I are guilty of validating each other’s “needs and wants.”
You’ve been working too hard lately; you deserve a staycay at Maiyan or that $100 dress you’ve been going on about.
Babe, you deserve that third bottle of wine. Yes, a brunch party tomorrow with our friends seems like a fantastic idea (at 3 am??). You won’t regret signing up for those hydrotherapy classes (I don’t even know how to swim, sis!) …the list goes on.
Which is why we started having candid and open discussions about money. We put all our cards on the table. We realized we could actually help each other cut back on expenses (it’s easier to tell each other no) and became each other’s financial accountability partners.
Right now, we cancel plans that might f**k our budgets, created a 14-day plan (if you’re still thinking about it after two weeks, you should get it instead of impulse-buying), and invested in shares and stocks together.
My friends also helped me realize that buying from wholesale shops is waaayy cheaper than the supermarket (I live in Kenya, so I don’t know how that works in the US). I’m also looking to get into real estate investments, so they keep sending me information they stumble on about it.
It’s been a win-win!
There Is Less Room For Shame And Guilt
If you’ve been on the socials lately, you’ve probably seen many arguments about splitting the bill among friends. Brunch, birthday parties, and bachelorette weekends have become so dreadful that friendships face more breakups than intimate relationships.
It’s the Miami friends’ trips curse all over again!
@viccgotti WHO WAS WRONG IN THIS SITUATION? THAT BILL WAS OVER 4600 dollars. #viccgotti #debate ♬ original sound – Viccgotti
@cbcgem we’re all good to split the bill? (📺: Dreaming Whilst Black) #dreamingwhilstblack ♬ original sound – CBC Gem
Now, I’m of the opinion that people should pay for what they order and consume. Coz why were you going out if you didn’t have the cash to pay for it? And it’s not your friend’s responsibility to pay for your lamp chops, champagne, and extra. If you can’t afford it, don’t get it!
Secondly, if these groups of friends had just had the money discussion beforehand, none of this would have happened. They’d have known, for example, that so-and-so hasn’t been paid for months or their salary doesn’t allow them to cough up $1500 for a bill.
It’d have been easy and less chaotic.
Also, if you’re honest about your money situation with friends, the less guilt you feel when you have to pass on costly social situations. You can quickly hit ‘em up and tell them you can’t make it without feeling embarrassed. Plus, one of your friends might just offer to sort your bill in exchange for your paying the next time you’re in a position to do so.
Men Do It, So Why Shouldn’t We?
Have you ever noticed how easy it is for your boyfriend/husband/partner and his friends, brothers, and male colleagues to talk about investment opportunities, better job opportunities, and why cryptocurrency is the future?
They’ll brag about their latest sports car buy or link-centric trip, but you and your girlfriends can’t seem to discuss the best pension plans and MFF Funds without one person feeling uncomfortable or “targeted?”
We owe it not just to ourselves but also to our friends and family to be more open about discussions concerning money.
We should learn to be more comfortable comparing notes about finances, learning from each other about what investments are better than others, and proudly admitting that “yeah, we want to make Robin Fenty money.”
It Can Help You Break Glass Ceilings
Lastly, discussing how you ask for promotions and raises can help you learn new tactics and how to handle certain circumstances. We had a recent discussion about this, and my friends realized they were facing similar situations at work.
Also, asking a work friend, maybe not a current coworker, but a past coworker, about how much they were making can help you know if your input is being valued, if you need to ask for a raise, or start job hunting.
Women helping other women are a force to be reckoned with.
PSA: This is just my personal opinion. And while you might be finally ready to dish about money with your besties, they might not.
You can lightly broach the finance conversations until you get a sense of whether your pals are comfortable tackling these discussions, or you could simply ask, “Do you mind if we have a conversation about money?” or “I have some financial concerns I need to run by you.”
As long as you guys are respectful of each other’s boundaries, there’s no reason you can’t have the money talk.
Hopefully, y’all will benefit!