You know all about relationship green flags, done all the workplace red flags tests, and learned all you need to know about love-bombing partners, but when last did you check on yourself? Have you ever tried identifying the green flags in yourself?
We’re quick to pinpoint other people’s green flags (or red) but tend to be critical about ourselves. We ignore all the good things happening and focus on the flaws, mistakes, and unachieved goals (which stems from imposter syndrome).
But can you compare yourself now to your 18-year-old self? Sure, she could go all night clubbing and dancing without care and could care less about what people thought of her, but have you seen how you’ve been managing your money now?
What about your emotions? Do you even pat yourself on the back for digging yourself out of the pits of heartbreak, healing like a champ, and getting back into the game like nothing ever happened?
You have come a long way, boo. Be proud.
But if you’re unsure whether you’ve been on the right path in your career, relationships, or health, these five signs (green flags) can help (FYI…we’re not saying that these are the only definitive signs; remember, everyone’s journey is different).
Below, five green flags that prove you’re becoming your best, most authentic, prosperous, and happiest version of yourself!
You Keep The Promises You Make To Yourself
You used to be all about catering to everyone’s needs but yourself. But since you learned the importance of filling your own cup first, you’ve intentionally exercised self-care and committed to achieving better health.
You promised yourself that you’d practice meditation for at least 20 minutes every morning instead of scrolling through Instagram – and you have. You vowed to limit screen time and instead read a book – and you’ve read five books since the year began.
No matter what you tell yourself, you’ve been keeping your word, seeing each promise through, and that deserves a clap. Or a slice of celebratory cake, at least.
Oh, and the best part about all this “promise-keeping?”
You’ve learned to trust yourself and gained Queen Bey confidence while at it! That’s a green flag hun and you should you so damn proud of yourself for all of it!
You Set Boundaries (And Actually Stick To Them!)
Another green flag, you’ve been setting boundaries and following through on them.
Your “nos” have been a complete sentence (hello, Gabrielle Union), and you haven’t been beating yourself up for missing out on that party or concert your “friends” insisted on planning (you’re actually relieved that you decided to sleep and catch up on Law & Order episodes).
You’ve been taking the time to reflect on your needs in your career, friendships, and romantic relations and why each boundary you’ve introduced is crucial to your journey. Setting clear, precise, and incredibly simple boundaries is how you operate now, and aren’t apologetic about it.
And while it’s been extremely uncomfortable, consistency has helped you follow through, and you can honestly say you’ve become a better friend, partner, and employee from doing this.
You Practice Self-Compassion
You used to preach compassion but couldn’t get yourself to practice it on the person who matters the most – YOU.
But now, you’ve been showing yourself the same grace you show your family; you practice self-compassion by holding people accountable for their actions towards you and speaking up when a boundary you set has been crossed.
And that soloist mentality? You’ve worked on it and are now comfortable asking for help when you need it. You’ve stopped beating yourself up for things you can’t control and have learned to live in the moment – celebrating the small wins and genuinely taking time off when you need space.
The people-pleasing behavior? It’s almost gone. You’re becoming assertive, honoring your authenticity, and taking notes when feelings of negativity creep into your life. The result? More peace, happiness, and less anxiety.
You go, girl!
You Are So Cozy With The Uncomfortable
Another green flag. You promised to step out of your comfort zone this year, and boy, have you stepped out!
You realized that personal, professional, and romantic growth meant taking risks, doing the impossible, and being okay with failure, and you’ve been doing it.
You used to think twice about applying for jobs you weren’t fully qualified for, and now you’re the executive producer of a show no one thought you’d ever land.
You were stuck on the mindset that a man should be the one to “choose you.” Now you’re asking people out, choosing yourself and your needs first (and not molding yourself to become their desired partner), and you love it! Sure, you’ve been rejected twice or thrice, but was it worth it? Yes!
Solo dates? Those were foreign to you. But now, three months in, you’ve explored every restaurant, resort, movie theatre, and park in your city. You’re even planning a solo trip to Seychelles, and you can’t wait to explore every inch of it!
You’ve been hitting repeat on diving into “risky” and “scary” experiences and pushing your limits because practice makes perfect (even though it’s not the perfection you’re after).
You Have A Positive Outlook On Life
We all have false narratives and preconceptions we’ve told ourselves that prevent us from becoming our best selves. “I’m not smart enough to become CEO.” “I’m not worthy of love, so why bother?”
But, thanks to shadow work, therapy, and consistent inner work, you know you have your fears and imposter syndrome issues to thank for these false thoughts.
So, you’ve taken a step back and started journaling about your limiting belief and constantly questioning why they’re a recurrent pattern in your life. “Why do I keep attracting emotionally unavailable partners? Am I unconsciously letting them into my life? Why is that?”
You’re also working on reframing them and turning them into positives. “Yes, I have a problem with commitment, but I’m purposing on kicking the “instant noodle energy” out and giving myself time to trust my own intuitions.”
And you’re not stopping there. You seek continuous improvement in your life, so you’ve signed up for coaching programs, have been intentional about therapy, and weaved these healthy little rituals into your daily wellness practices.
